A Brand New Blog/ The Power Of Starting Over

“Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” I didn’t quite understand this prayer as well as I thought I did when I was younger. It wasn’t until I got older that the weight and meaning of these words could truly be felt and understood. I had to learn to be mindful enough to understand that I cannot always fight against change and win. Often times, we all must accept it and navigate around or through it. I, myself been going through continuous changes and have been learning to adapt and operate outside of my comfort zone as a result. I’m sure you can agree that learning to accept when you’ve lost something can be extremely difficult.

Take my old website for example, (lovemisscarter.com) I was understandably upset when it went down unexpectedly. Even more so when I realized I could not recover a giant chunk of my sites files, and I knew I should’ve backed them up. To top it all off, I had just revamped that site just a few months prior to losing it! So here I am starting from scratch… which seems to be a common theme for me lately. Thankfully I’ve become quite adept at bouncing back as it seems life has decided to give me a lot of practice!

When this happened, I wrote tons of emails to customer support to get my website back up. I knew that their platform was slowly coming to an end when they stopped accepting new clients, but they said that they would still honour existing clients. What I didn’t see coming was that this meant customer support would become practically nonexistent. I had to recognize and accept that things were not going to continue to go my way, and I could either sulk or find another alternative instead. I took a deep breath and began working on a new website with a new web hosting platform and I’m loving it! From my research, its SW friendly, had more tools to offer and customer support is always there when needed. My new site was so much easier to build, and then once finished the navigation was so much more flawless than my last one.

I wasn’t sure if I was going to put a blog up again or not. Honestly, I wasn’t sure if anyone was really reading it, or even all that interested. So, I created my new site without one. Eventually, I started hearing from a small handful of people that they miss my blogs and they were wondering when I would write them again. I was both touched and very surprised to find out that my blogs were more impactful than I thought! That made me feel soooo good! I just didn’t have the time, and when I DID have the time, I didn’t have the energy or the will! I used to write my blogs from my phone in the past and it was fine back then. Now I just didn’t have the mental capacity to do that again even though I was very much interested in getting back into writing.

It was actually one individual in particular (You know who you are, and I know you’re reading this right now!), who kept pushing me to get back into it. One person who patiently waited and waited for me to write and nudged me to get started again. Finally, one day he gifted me a brand new laptop off my wishlist with a note saying, “To help with your new blog!” I was in actual tears! I had to find a place to hide because I was practically bawling at the very thoughtfulness of it. I love “just because” gifts, but it means so much more to me when there was a genuine thought behind it. This person genuinely wanted to help, they genuinely wanted to see me happy, successful and thriving. That touched my very soul! Now I will be writing all my blogs from this laptop and I will cherish it until the day it dies!

So, what can you expect from my blog going forward? Well, I do always have something to talk about, I love sparking thought-provoking discussions and getting people to think outside the box and outside themselves. I’m also just a natural born entertainer so I do hope that everyone reading will find enjoyment in doing so (even if it’s only my blogs #1 fan reading)! I aim to write a new entry once or twice a month as opposed to sporadically like I used to. Some entries will be erotic fictional stories that I enjoy writing so much! I will also write about life both in and out of the adult industry. This among many things I feel passionate about and would love to share with you! As for you, this will be a fantastic way to get to know me on a deeper level, see how I think and what I’m up to! Some posts will also be dedicated to helpful tips and/or hacks I’ve learned over the years. Some will be impactful; some will be light. The goal is to show you the different dynamics of Melissa Carter!

I’m here now because I had the courage to start over time and again! Sure, it can be scary and/or daunting but once you stand firm in the changes happening around you, and you stay consistent, it gives you a whole new level of confidence in yourself. You prove to yourself that you can get through things that you once thought were near impossible! You prove to yourself that patience really is a virtue and giving yourself a chance pays off! Often times when you embrace change, the new thing turns out to be so much more than what you were trying to hold on to in the first place. I’m sure you’ve told yourself before, “Wow, I’m actually glad this happened after all!” You realize that if you had stayed mad or fought against the change, then you would have missed the whole blessing that was crash landing into your life.

Now, when it feels like I’m losing things in my life I stop and ask myself a few questions:

1. Did I really need this anyway?

2. Are these my consequences for past decisions or is this truly out of my control?

3. Am I better off without out it?

4. Will this make room for something better to come?

5. What can I learn from this?

6. Is the lesson greater than the loss?

When you start talking to yourself like this, loss starts to become a bit easier to take. You get less emotional about it and start looking at it subjectively (of course I don’t mean loss as in death because that will always be difficult no matter what). It’s so much easier to bounce back when you learn to let go and just accept it. When you do, you naturally want to start planning how to start over and how to make the next time better than the last time. Aside from losing my website, I lost many other things over the last few years, so I’ve had some good practice. I’m happy to say that with this new mindset, I’m doing a lot better now than I would be if I still had what is now gone. I’m a lot happier, and I’m thriving!

I can only hope that next time you lose something you felt was important and it’s hard letting go, that maybe you will find the courage to show yourself that something new isn’t so bad after all! You can do this! You can start speaking to yourself better even when you go through tough times! You will certainly thank yourself later for changing your mindset and changing how you deal with all the losses that come in life! Starting all over again can be a truly beautiful thing if you simply allow it to be!

Best of luck!

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